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It’s hard for me to trust people. Part of what made me that way is that there was once this guy who I liked, we’ll call him J. He was a nice person, nice to everyone, it seemed. I played DnD with him and a few others which included his friend M. M was not a very nice person. he had some anger issues and was generally quite scary to me at the time. So, at some point before a session, they invited someone else and moved to a place that had limited space. I was the one who got the short end of the stick and got kicked out by M, because I think, J didn’t want to ruin his nice boy facade.

And that’s the story of my first DnD experience and when I stopped being as trusting of people who are always nice to everyone all the time it seems. I also try to be careful of divulging my phone number. today I made a gamble and I hope that person I game my number to is a Charis and not a J. I’m trusting them to be a genuinely nice person…

The absolute last thing I want to be seen as is a nuisance or annoying and so I really hope I am not seen that way. By anyone, especially that person. I’m trying to be like benefit of the doubt here and maybe they just forgot, but there’s that thought of maybe they don’t want to talk to me, maybe I was just like those girls who hung on to them calling them sempai, or maybe something worse than that (not that it’s that bad).

I may need some reassuring. but for now I’m just gonna go cry myself to sleep, thinking of how to make myself less annoying. perhaps I just need to be ok with not being with anyone for multiple events. but it’s less cool the agree to meet up and never show up.

Sorry for the rant,

'Lina

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I need to get to bed, I have an interview in lebanon tomorrow morning. If all goes well, I’ll be the night time medication aide at bridgecreek memory care. 

which come to think of it may expose me to some people with amnesia and I can learn more about it and make my whole writing thing better.

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just plain physical contact is somewhat uncomfortable for me. hugs, touching my shoulders or back, I can’t tell why, just that I don’t like it.

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I have trouble trusting people, and hugs are one thing that I’m wary of. I try to be more liberal with hugs at can, just cause, I don’t want to hurt any feelings, but you should know if I hug you often, or initiate the hug, I am putting my trust in you.

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oh and followed someone new.

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Just got home from Kumoricon.

I feel bad about not having access to tumblr all weekend so I couldn’t update anyone at all. but I made a few new friends and that is no small feat for me. I look forward to seeing all the pictures that were taken, most were taken of me on the first and second days.

in the case anyone was wondering, I was sheimi Moriyama for days 0, 1, and 2. and ciel phantomhive days 3 and 4.

Will talk to you all later,

'Lina

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insanepocky:

beyondthewavves:

"Please Doctor, it’s the only medicine we’ve got.”

OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS BALTO.. 978 OTHER PEOPLE HAVE REBLOGGED THIS THAT MEANS THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE WHO LOVE THIS FUCKING MOVIE. EVERYTIME I ASK PEOPLE IF THEY REMEMBER IT THEY THINK I’M TALKING ABOUT BOLT AND IT KILLS ME INSIDE

i have hope

I blame this movie for the main reason why I love big dogs

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Source: theanimatedwonders
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ivantalia:

baegal:

When you’re almost dead in a game but somehow you managed to survive until the next level

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(via uptownotaku)

Source: baegal
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puckish-thoughts:

THERE IT IS AGAIN!  THERE IT FUCKING IS!  i’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS PHOTO FOR YEARS AND NEVER COULD FIND IT!!  THE LAN PARTY WITH THE GUY DUCT-TAPED TO THE CEILING!!  BACK IN ANCIENT TIMES WHEN PEOPLE STILL USED CATHODE MONITORS AND WHEN COUNTERSTRIKE WAS THE NEW THING.  THIS SHIT IS REAL.  THIS IS REAL SHIT.  SHIT THAT HAPPENED.

(via shinytotodile)

Source: unregistered-hypercam2